its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
