i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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