I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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