Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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