Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
