Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Never joke about your clitoris.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
