Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
vagina is talking i cant
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
