Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
