I want to make a zoo with you.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
