Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
