My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
