garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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