Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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