i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize
