If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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