You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
