i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
