The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I understand Curling. That high.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
