I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
