I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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