He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
