Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
