My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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