gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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