after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
