The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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