With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
