new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
