I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
