i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
