he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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