things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
