Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
