Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
