dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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