The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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