haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
