My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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