i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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