epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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