i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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