how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
