If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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