Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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