six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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