I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
