So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
