Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
