We're facebook friends in real life
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
