you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
