No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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