Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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