I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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